Monday, October 29, 2012

Clergy Shirts for Women Are of Satan!


Bless my mom's heart, she bought me a clergy shirt recently.  I already have one in black and so she felt that I needed a white one.  I was quite excited to receive this impromptu gift because, first, it was from my mom and secondly, I needed another clergy shirt.  However, I am CONVINCED that women's clericals are of SATAN!  They never fit right, they are too doggone hot and just plain unfashionable and uncomfortable!  I am convinced that satan gave some man the idea of creating these hideous garments just like the underwire bra.  Only a man would put wires and plastic in a garment that women have to wear.  If you haven't guessed by now, I am disappointed by the selections that we women clergy have in the way of clericals.

My journey into the clericals land has not been a joyous one.  It is oftentimes frustrating and hopeless.  I try not to wear clericals if at all possible.  However, there are times when I have to put on that torturous garment  that does absolutely nothing for my fashion sense and comfort.  It is an inhumane piece of clothing and I am sure that many of my female colleagues have had the same experience as I.

But wait!!!! Help is on the way my sisters if you are willing to spend a few extra dollars.  I figure that if I spend $54 for one ill-fitting shirt now that I can put another $25-$100 with that $54 to get me a shirt that fits well and looks good.  Here are some companies that I have found.

Stitches of Ayrhttp://shop.stitchesofayr.com/Womens-Shirts_c8.htm)- A company out of Canada that:   Stitches of Ayr aims to "Redesign the Uniform" by bringing modern styling, comfort, and eco-sensitive fabrics to clerical clothing and vestments. The unique styling of our clerical shirts allows for the clergy person to be stylish, comfortable, and approachable, while still maintaining the significance of the clergy collar.   
red womens clergy shirt short sleeve.red womens clergy shirt short sleeve.  These shirts cost $90 each.

Spiritual Apparel (http://www.spiritualapparel.com)- This company specializes in the custom "Janie" of sorts. The Women's Clerical Bodice is made of a fine, lightweight, pre-washed suiting material that is a Cotton/Polyester/Lycra blend. The fabric moves and breathes comfortably with the body for optimal comfort and wearability.  It comes as a full band collar or as a tab collar.  This item was featured in TLC's, "What Not to Wear" when they featured a woman Episcopalian priest for a make-over.  It is $90.
   
Casual Priest (http://www.casualpriest.com) This company is out of Sweden..Lordy, I am going to save to get one of these shirts!
 EVA slim sleeve thunder blue $149 EVA black and they come in a variety of colors!  

Finally, shirts that fit! I am ordering a few of these today and I bind my other shirts in the name of Jesus and toss them back into the pits of hell! 


Monday, October 22, 2012

Halloween Has Been Cancelled!



To say that I don't believe in Halloween is an under statement.  I absolutely abhor this secular holiday.  For the whole month of October my cable television runs rampant with every creepy show that they can dig up, big bags of candy practically invades the grocery store shelves and costumes ranging from cute to trampy to scary cost as much as a good handbag!  I do not like this holiday and I fail to see how giving out a bunch of sugary "crack" to children that are already close to "OD'ing" is conducive to them and myself.

I was not always like this.  I remember that my mom allowed us to dress up and go "begging" for candy when I was growing up.  "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" was one of my favorite holiday specials to watch and as I got older, the haunted houses were frequented by me and my friends.  As I became an adult and had children of my own, I even allowed them to dress up and go around the neighborhood "begging" for candy.  Something changed. I went into the ministry. My mindset changed and I started to research the true meaning of the holidays that I celebrated.  This is what I discovered from Wikipedia:


History

Etymology

The word Halloween was first used in the 16th century and represents a Scottish variant of the fuller All-Hallows'-Even ('evening'), that is, the night before All Hallows' Day.[10] Although the phrase All Hallows' is found in Old English (ealra hālgena mæssedæg, mass-day of all saints), All-Hallows-Even is itself not seen until 1556.[10]

Celtic influences

Though the origin of the word Halloween is Christian, the holiday is commonly thought to have pagan roots.[11] Historian Nicholas Rogers, exploring the origins of Halloween, notes that while "some folklorists have detected its origins in the Roman feast of Pomona, the goddess of fruits and seeds, or in the festival of the dead called Parentalia, it is more typically linked to the Celtic festival ofSamhain", which comes from the Old Irish for "summer's end".[11] Samhain (pronounced sah-win or sow-in) was the first and most important of the four quarter days in the medieval Gaelic (IrishScottish and Manx)[12] calendar.[13][14] It was held on or about 31 October–1 November and kindred festivals were held at the same time of year in other Celtic lands; for example the Brythonic Calan Gaeaf (in Wales), Kalan Gwav (in Cornwall) and Kalan Goañv (in Brittany). Samhain is mentioned in some of the earliest Irish literatureand many important events in Irish mythology happen or begin on Samhain. It marked the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter or the 'darker half' of the year.[15] This was a time for stock-taking and preparing for the cold winter ahead;[11] cattle were brought back down from the summer pastures and livestock were slaughtered.[15] In much of the Gaelic world, bonfires were lit and there were rituals involving them.[15] Some of these rituals hint that they may once have involved human sacrifice.[16][11] Divinationgames or rituals were also done at Samhain.[15]
Samhain (like Beltane) was seen as a time when the 'door' to the Otherworld opened enough for the souls of the dead, and other beings such as fairies, to come into our world.[17][18] The souls of the dead were said to revisit their homes on Samhain.[19] Feasts were had, at which the souls of dead kin were beckoned to attend and a place set at the table for them.[20] Lewis Spence described it as a "feast of the dead" and "festival of the fairies".[21] However, harmful spirits and fairies were also thought to be active at Samhain. People took steps to allay or ward-off these harmful spirits/fairies, which is thought to have influenced today's Halloween customs. Before the 20th century, wearing costumes at Samhain was done in parts of IrelandMann, the Scottish Highlands and islands, andWales.[22] Wearing costumes may have originated as a means of disguising oneself from these harmful spirits/fairies, although some suggest that the custom comes from a Christian or Christianized belief (see below). In Ireland, people went about before nightfall collecting for Samhain feasts and sometimes wore costumes while doing so.[22] In the 19th century on Ireland's southern coast, a man dressed as a white mare would lead youths door-to-door collecting food; by giving them food, the household could expect good fortune from the 'Muck Olla'.[23] In Moray during the 18th century, boys called at each house in their village asking for fuel for the Samhain bonfire.[24] Trick-or-treating may thus have come from the custom of going door-to-door collecting food for Samhain feasts, fuel for Samhain bonfires and/or Samhain offerings for the spirits and fairies. Alternatively, it may come from the Christian custom ofsouling (see below). Making jack-o'-lanterns at Halloween may also have sprung from Samhain and Celtic beliefs. Turnip lanterns, sometimes with faces carved into them, were made on Samhain in the 19th century in parts of Ireland and the Scottish Highlands.[25]As well as being used to light one's way while outside on Samhain night, they may also have been used to represent the spirits/fairies and/or to protect oneself and one's home from them.

So I got to thinking: Why would I celebrate the dead? Why do I need to ward off evil spirits? Isn't this awfully close to witchcraft and the occult? Do I conform myself to what is popular by the world's standard or, " Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
I choose the Word.  Halloween at my house has been cancelled for a long time.  I have a granddaughter now and her parents are more than likely going to dress her up as a cute little pumpkin or princess and take her "begging" for "sugary crack" on the 31st.  I just know that when she gets to my house, I will slip a WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) bracelet over her slender little wrist.  As a matter of fact, I think I will go stock up on those WWJD bracelets and hand them out to any child that knocks on my door. Sorry kiddos, but Halloween Has Been Cancelled!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

I'se A Pastor Now!!!!




The "Color Purple" has always been one of my favorite movies and in the movie Shug Avery gets married and in trying to gain favor from her preacher father, she holds up her properly ringed hand and says, "I'se married now! I say, I'se married now!"  She was proud of herself and didn't mind proclaiming it loud and clear.  I feel just like Shug Avery and I want to throw up my sanctified hands and say, "I'SE A PASTOR NOW! I SAY, I'SE A PASTOR NOW!"

All country talk aside, I have a charge that the Elder sent me to pastor. I was sent amid some trying circumstances that I will not elaborate on, but I am glad that I was obedient and went.  I felt the Lord doing something with my ministry all during Annual Conference and I felt that he was moving me into a position to not just lead choirs, but to shepherd people.  I prayed and sought counsel from my ministerial family and I knew that it was time.  I could no longer sit under the protection of what was my comfort zone (my home church).  I had to get on out there and do what God had trained me to do.

I have always liken myself to a baby bird.  Baby  birds cannot fly when they are born.  The are cared for by the parents until they grow big enough for the mother bird to literally push them out of the nest and then the bird had better fly or it will fall to the ground and die.  God literally pushed me from the nest and made me fly. He spoke to me and said, "You're a big girl now. I have called you and set you apart.  Trust me to take your ministry higher.  I love you, but you have to leave home in order for me to expand your territory." So with a mighty push, God kicked me out of the nest so that I can fly. It's scary, but little by little I am climbing a little higher.  My arms are getting stronger with each flight. I have had some wobbly take offs, but I have managed to land on my feet. I see a whole vast sky in front of me and I want to be able to fly until I hear the Lord say, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!"  

I am a proud pastor over a people who are truly genuine and wonderful.  Together, we will take this wonderful flight into the sky of serving God.  I am no longer a baby bird.  My Father in Heaven gave me wings to fly.  So with that, I throw up my sanctified hands and say, "I'SE A PASTOR NOW! I SAY, I'SE A PASTOR NOW!"